Struggles with boundary discovery
How some people struggle to calibrate depth, intensity, and charge in real time with other people.
⛰️ What are we trying to achieve?
As humans, we know intrinsically that in order to
- connect
- keep people engaged, and
- avoid pushing them away
...we need to be mindful of people's capacities. More specifically, we need to be in sync with their:
💗 Emotional availability
How much emotional charge someone can stay present with without dissociating, shutting down, or placating.
💡 Informational tolerance
How much complexity, abstraction, novelty, or meta-level thinking someone can comfortably hold.
😓 Charge modulation
Letting people feel the weight or importance of something without forcing full participation.
👍 Consent boundaries
Determining where “yes” turns into “maybe,” “not now,” or “no,” before it’s verbalized.
🐋 Depth calibration
Aligning with their comfort level and motivation for going deep into topics and conversation.
It's like we're trying to get a glimpse into the inner dashboard of a person's relational availability.
